How to Stay a Girl's-Girl & Still Hang with the Boys

LADIES.  There is a divide among us that desperately needs to be addressed.  It is none other than the great battle of girly-girls vs guys-girls.  And I hope you'll join me in putting a stop to this lame war.  

We all know or have known two types of girls in our lives.  The first is the classic girly-girl.  This pinky-in-the-air princess loves shopping just as much as she hates football. Her preferred humpday treat is a frozen strawberry margarita and the thought of drinking a Coors Light will promptly bring up yesterday's market salad she had over her weekly wannabe celebutante brunch.  

Most likely, she owns some breed of a yippy small dog and it definitely has more clothes than you. Oh, and she just can't get enough of the color pink---so much that the NFL now makes pink jerseys.

The second girl we all know is the 'one of the boys' girl.  This girl is in denial of, well, being a girl.  She only has guy friends and finds no greater pleasure in life than telling you so.  She loves beer, shoots whiskey, has at least one jersey from every sport known to man and thinks all females are annoying drama queens.  She has burping contests, farts on command and is typically labeled a skank by the outside female popultion. To put it lightly, you are not gonna find this chick balls deep in the most recent edition of US Weekly anytime soon.

These two girls have just about as much in common as Mother Teresa & Paris Hilton.  So, how can common ground be found?  Bring it back to the basics.

The all-knowing Urban Dictionary describes a 'guy's girl' like so:  That great girl who can just chill and be 'one of the guys'.  She's into sports, beer, action flicks and doesn't give a damn what others think.  You probably think this is where the definition ends, right?  Not so much.  It continues with: However, unlike the tomboy, she has her gang of girl mates that she shops with and does girly stuff.  As incedibly poetic as this definition is, I like it.  It combines the girly-girl with the 'one of the boys' girl.  I don't know about you, but this sounds like an amiga I'd like to take to the mall and get a late night burrito with.

Now are you ready to dip your toe into the opposite territory of girl world?  Good!  Now let's browse for some common interests.

1. THE KITCHEN.  We all know the way to a dude's heart is through his stomach.  Why shouldn't it be the way to a girlfriend as well?  If you both know how to cook then this is a great way to start.  Swap enchilada recipes or ask what puts the extra kick in her homemade salsa. (I know, I talk about mexican food a lot but I'm from Arizona so get used to it.)  If you ask her to assist you with the guacamole and she asks what the main ingredient is, well,  you might wanna take another route.  

Not only food comes out of the kitchen.  Something even more fabulous does: cocktails!  Is your new candidate for a friend complaining of a hangover from hanging with the boys the previous night?  Offer up one of your killer bloody Mary's or a 'man'mosa.  What better way to build friendships than over booze?  I'm pretty sure alcohol invented the word.

2. SOCIAL MEDIA.  Who doesn't like the idea of a potential new follower that is potentially full of new likes?  Very few.  What better way to get to know someone than through unabashidly cyber-stalking them?  For all you know she could love Grumpy Cat too.  Or maybe she's a closet selfie-er and your selfies are loud and proud.  Your pictures just might be the inspiration she needs to publicize her duck lips!  Or you could be a real friend and kindly break it to her that duck lips are never and will never be OK... Unless, they are done ironically.  Then they're hilarious.

Is she one of those people that are 'above' social media?  If she hasn't logged on to the web since she terminated her '2kewl4U' 1999 aol screenname, hopefully you have some boardgames stashed away.  I don't what kind of friendship flower can flourish from a good ol' game of Balderdash but I'm pretty sure it's an awesome one.

3. MAN BASHING.  I don't care how much of a dude you think you are, every girl loves to get her man bash on.  Did her boyfriend recently cheat on her?  You've been there too!  Does she have daddy issues?  So does your best friend!  Did the auto mechanic triple charge your oil change because you were wearing eye glitter?  She's outraged!  I'm not saying hate on guys to the point that you end up making out with each other (It takes a special kind of friendship to come back from that).  Just a little hazing should do the trick.  Look at it like finding a shiny new diamond in a pile of old shit.

For the girly girl's:  Loosen up!  Next time your at a Super Bowl party and someone offers you a drink, do yourself a favor and don't make a pina colada your first choice.  Try out a Bud Light Lime...Yes, It's still girly but a guy's girl will at least stand next to you in public with that in your hand.

For the guy's girls:  Embrace that you're a chick.  I don't care how many IPAs you can guzzle!  Until you make the official and complicated switch to 'hotdog' from the current 'bun' you are working with, you are one of the girls.  Maybe acting like it once in awhile will get you out of the friend zone and possibly laid.   

So next time you are put in the position of making a opposite girlfriend, just give it a shot.  There is a reason the saying opposites attract has been around so long.  Maybe you can help her understand what a two-point conversion is and she can pluck your eyebrows.  That's a WIN-WIN in my book.

The point is that by not compromising and trying to get along with eachother, we let the boys win!  And they are winning in a game that they didn't even sign up to compete in. Besides, guys like it when their ladies get along because then they don't have to listen to why they don't on the way home.

 So why is it so easy for girls to hate girls?  Because there's not a woman involved.  There is a great quote our there that says Girls compete with each other, Women empower one another.  Preach it, work it, LIVE it!  

Having good girlfriends is such a vital part of life!  Go against the grain and be proud to be one of the girls.  Even if it means you have to get matching pink jerseys.... As horrific as they are, they at least support something boys and girls can all agree to love: Healthy BOOBIES!

Charlotte Crow

I'm a modern day farmer's daughter who shares and seeks inspiration from the comical & beautiful things that get caught in life's curious little web.