- THEY LIVE IN THE MOMENT!
I'm not saying you need to be a goofball 24/7 but I do think it's important to be able to let yourself go when the moment presents itself. There is a time and place for everything so please don't go making a fart noise in the middle of an important meeting with your boss to prove you're a free spirit.
But, if you are out with friends, then the world is your stage!
For me this rule goes for being out with boys, too. It's so refreshing to be able to just be yourself on a date and it has worked wonders for me. If a boy doesn't get my sense of humor then it's best to just say thanks for the free chickensandwich & end the night with a hug. It's so important to do things that make you feel.
When you're out and about with girls who have their panties in a wad, this can be a challenge. Just try to ease them into a good time and if they are not feeling the beat of your drum go on a solo mission to find other members for your band of fun.
- THEY COOK!
You don't have to be a graduate of Le Cordon Bleu to know how to whip up some tasty treats. And instant macaroni and Top Ramen (although there is a certain art to both) don't count.
One day you're going to have a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/family/home, or all of the above, if you don't already. These things require food. Which requires cooking. Do you really want to be known as the one who gets take out every night? Take some pride in your ability to learn. You got this!
Go to your local bookstore and pick one up on the basics. Then go home and experiment! An even better tool than learning from a book is giving your grandma a ring and asking her to help you whip up her specialties. I promise the sooner you can present your boy-toy with some fried chicken, mashed potatoes and homemade gravy, the sooner he will be thanking you in the sack. Hooray for cooking!
- THEY CRY.
I know, I know.. Big girls don't cry and blah blah blah. Big girls may not cry but, women who are honest and comfortable with their emotions, do.
Now, please, don't go around blubbering all over everyone. No one likes a drama queen. But if you are feeling something, really feeling something, then let it show in a place you feel secure. Let it out to a friend or, do what I do, and take a little drive around the block. Blast some sad music and beat your steering wheel up a little bit. Other drivers may think there is a lunatic on the loose but, I promise, you'll feel like a new person getting out of that car.
- THEY RESPECT THEMSELVES.
Listen to Aretha Franklin and demand a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. The definition of this is a little different for everyone so it would be a good idea to figure out yours. Write it down. Start out with how you want to be treated by others and how others actually treat you. If the two match, awesome! If not, well start demanding it. You're worth the fight.
- THEY HAVE REAL FRIENDS.
This is one of the hardest but also one of the most important. It's crazy how long we will put up with life suckers & meanie heads just because they have been our "friend" for like ever. I don't care if they were born in the same flippin' hospital bed as you if they are a bad friend you need to cut the cord. How will you know the good from the evil?
Think about it.
Are they constantly in competition with you? Do they try to make you feel dumb in front of boys? Do they always need you to deal with their never ending list of drama? Would you consider them a negative person? And would they tell you to wear the pink dress that makes you look like a sausage or the black that transforms you into a goddess?
When you are surrounded by positive and loving people it makes such a difference in more areas in your life than you realize. Their drama is no longer your drama and with that comes a lot less stress! Who cares if you have to cross 300 friends off your list! As long as you have one or two who truly and consistently have your back then you are in good hands.
BOO on mean friends!
Kick 'em to the curb like a bad habit because that's all they really are.
- THEY DON'T DATE ASSHOLES.
Double-You-Tee-Eff! I cannot emphasize this one enough. We're all human and we all make mistakes but that's what high school is for. Date an asshole (if you must!) and get it out of your system! I don't know what is so appealing about dating someone that doesn't really like you but lots of girls seem to love the idea and even marry these jerk-offs. It breaks my heart!
If your man doesn't dote on you, we have a problem.
I don't mean the dude has to kiss the ground you walk on (well,not all the time) but he does need to think that you're the raddest chick in town. If he doesn't -- ditch him! And if you know he doesn't, and you continue to stay with him, then shame on you!
Let's go over some signs of what a class A D-bag is like.. he points out your flaws in front of others or just to you. (Either one is adeal breaker!) He is always talking about how other girls are hot or how much he Loves brunettes and you have been a toehead since you were two. He's cheated on you and past girlfriends. (Seriously, do I really have to repeat that one?) HE'S CHEATED ON NOT JUST YOU BUT OTHERS! There. Maybe you'll remember that now. Or you met him while he had a girlfriend and either made it very clear he'd like to sleep you or actually did sleep with you. Not hubby material.
The list goes on and on.. Face it, you know deep down if you are dating a big A-hole and until you take your blinders off and deal with it, I can no longer pity you.
- THEY KNOW THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.
Inside and out! We are all flawed but pointing them out in the mirror and hating yourself for them is not the way to make them go away. Seriously! Rad chicks think they are sexy as Pepsi!
Think about it -- if you don't think you're hot stuff, then who will?
I'm not saying you need to go and get all conceited with yourself -- There is a difference between self-love and self-lust. Just know what you are worth and how much you have to offer (which is much more than you realize).
Knowing this will probably help you out with the whole dating an asshole thing too. Why? Because no truly confident girl would put up with a d-bag. Look in the mirror and, don't just say, but feel beautiful! Even if you gained 10 pounds over the holidays, big whoop!
And for goodness sakes, learn how to take a compliment! We all struggle with this one. I catch myself doing it all of the time! But I am at least conscious of my actions. Next time someone tells you that you look nice, don't immediately start listing all the reasons that you think you don't. They don't want to hear that you're tired, old, poor, ugly or have the ass the size of a house. They said what they said for a reason!
Just fight the urge, take a deep breath, and simply say: Thank you. It's hard at first but, eventually, it feels incredible. So be nice to you!
You are the only you that you're gonna get. So put down your own personal brand of hater-ade and give yourself the sex-eyes instead of the stink-eye for once.